I waited all day for a phone call from my new job to say that the background check was complete and I can finally work. I got dressed, JUST IN CASE, that phone call decided to show the hell up. Then, I heard it. That annoying iPhone ring. I leaped across the bed, whipped the bedroom door open, and reached my phone. To my demise, it was just the alarm I set earlier this morning, with the SAME annoying ring it sounds when someone is calling me. I got dressed anyway. I figured I'd wear something comfortable, non-sewer rat like and not necessarily "professional", but acceptable to show up to work in case the call came. It didn't. It still hasn't. Please call. I am bored.
Instead of doing something inspirational with my life, I told Geoff that it was essential that we journeyed our way to the Dollar Tree to pick up some essential items for my new office that, let me remind you, has a window and a door. What essential items could the Dollar Tree possibly have in store?
I will be decorating my office desk with a dinosaur theme. It is okay if you feel sorry for yourself for not thinking about this on your own, not everyone can be as cool as me. It has taken me years of practice. Just keep working on it. One day you'll be cool. Actually, it is unlikely. But, it is better to die trying, right? No, that is probably horrible advice, as well. In fact, it is not advice at all. I do not offer advice. That is a liability and I WILL NOT be liable for your failures. It was a suggestion. Not advice.
So, I got to wear this "fally", "stripey", "black and whitey", outfit. Indeed, I am wearing the same belt that I wore for the interview with the director of the Confucius Institute which was stolen, like a convict, from my fiance's Naval Academy uniform. It works well (at last I think it looks good, I do not care what you think) because it shows off my itty-bitty-I-am-still-in-my-early-twenties-waist-ha-ha-nanner-nanner AND it goes with my adorable cheapo witchy pointy shoes with gold and silver embellishment on them. I purchased them at Ross last week. Fifteen bucks. Oh yeah.
If you are curious about the title, it will be explained as you read further. If not, get the hell off my blog. Kidding. Actually, I am not. I have to say, if people who do not know me are reading this blog they are probably concerned that I even started a blog and that I communicate with viewers in this manner. Don't care. The humans are too sensitive these days.
|Is there anyone around that does not cry when I use the "C" word?|
These next few pictures are the reason why this blog post is titled, "Aren't Models Supposed to Look Depressed...Like, I Can't Remember the Last Time I Ate Something."
Finally, a photo that looks presentable...
Farewell, Sweatpants. I want you out of my life! Forever. Actually only until I come home from work, if I ever get in the office.